



I always have this constant voice rehearsing in my head whenever something happens. Kinda like telling me to take a mini break or just take a deep breath. Anything that I thought would help me sort things out. Just to clear my head for a while and see things from a different angle. I needed that. Usually in the past, I'd just have a good shower and the worries just seemed to drain away. So it kinda helped.
But now, im not sure if anything works for anything anymore. Neither does it help being on my own nor digress. Not all situations can be dealt alone it seems. I know this is true. Sometimes when you see a friend going through some changes, you do not leave him or her alone. Even if he/she thinks its something “I have to go through myself” thing, and just brings forth that kind of attitude (which can be pain in the neck sometimes I know), but you do not leave him/her alone. Deal with your friend. Be understanding. Show them that u're there even if they think they dont need you. Because you know that deep down they do. Trust me, I know this for a fact :)
Then again, that does not mean you cannot have some time of your own. im sure we all need it at some point. But to face your fears alone aint an easy thing. It can be overwhelming. So go confide in Your Lord. Seek comfort and solitude. Enlighten your faith. Dont give in to fears. Embrace them. Share your musing with a friend. Going through me-time does not mean excluding everyone in your life and giving up everything else. It just means opening up a little part of you, showing your true self to those who really care about you. Eventually, u'll figure out what really matters to you. And I know God is enough for me :)
Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
Good to be back!


I had a nice dream. Nothing about the life I lived. Nothing about what I wanted to dream about. Nothing about home. I wished I could recall and write about it once I got up but it was so good I wanted to sleep and continue my dream, amidst the silent morning and the cold weather. It's been days when I really saw the sun coming out but I'm not complaining. Year end always feels like this. Always cold and lazy. Nice and cosy. If only I had a mug filled with hot chocolate, life would be enough for me now. It would be perfect. I resolved not to go home this time when the good opportunity came, knocking at my door. Or rather effortlessly. But my mind was weak, early in the morning so I agreed to this weak self. (btw, who can say no to home really?)
My point is, there will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may even seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.
Meanwhile, I'm a fickle cow. And I don't mind :)
...on the other hand, I can't trust myself with God given time. Hargh.
d_P